JUST BE YOU! can be the worst advice. Why? Most of us don’t really know who we actually are. what our parents said to us, what the media tells us we should be, and a memory of our failings.Continue…
Two Sundays ago, I suddenly dipped into depression. I’m not 100% what caused it. I’d had a good weekend. My life situation hadn’t changed. I just plummeted.
Maybe I’m slightly glossing over the truth (as I think about it).
I’ve been out of work for a few weeks as my previous job offer fell through and I had couple of interviews on the Monday. Neither of them where ideally what I wanted to do, but like us all, I need money coming in so I can pay bills and enjoy life, right?
So, I think the trigger was knowing that I was going for job interviews that I wasn’t excited about it. I also think that I was a bit down on myself. You see, I’ve done lots of different things in my life and I’ve never really doubled down on one particular skill. It’s left my a kind of Jack of many trades and master of none.
I think all of this was going on in my head and I let the conversation bring me right down.
How Did I Get Through My Mini Depression?
I manged to lift myself out of my depressive funk within three and a half days, instead of letting it continue and get worse.
This is how…
Acceptance. I accepted how I felt instead of fighting and struggling. This is a subtle art, because there is a danger of completely entering into your depression. The trick here is to be an observer of the depression rather than identifying with it. The difference between, “I feel depressed” and “I am depressed”. There is a subtle but definite difference between both phases.
Allow yourself to do what you need to do. For me, it was pizza and beer. Again we often fight things that we label as bad. We create an internal struggle that consumes our energy and keeps us stuck. Being stuck is what we want to avoid, we want to move through this feeling.
Set a time limit. Allow yourself a period of time to feel how you feel and give yourself a cut off point. Say to yourself, “On *day* I’m gonna move on.”
For me, I allowed myself until Thursday, then I started my Daily Do’s again. Eating nutritiously, drinking water, cooking and exercising. I stopped with the pizza and the beer.
Depression And Intentional Living
The underlying principle in what I’ve shared here is intentional living; us shaping our life, rather than life shaping us. Most people practise passive living, they allow life to happen to them and react to it.
Intentional living is about creating our life experience. We can do this with the (so-called) good and (so-called) bad, by us taking ownership and responsibility for our situation and how we handle it.
Your Best Days Are in Front of You,
Sometimes our mindset goes down the pan. Life gets in the way and we lose our focus. We sometimes don’t even notice until it’s too late. How do we get back to a right and powerful mindset? What is a right and powerful mindset? In this post we’re gonna look at the difference between a fatass mindset and a badass mindset.
The Opposite of A Badass Mindset
My mindset for a long while was the opposite of a strong and powerful mindset because I allowed myself to take the mindset of a victim. I allowed myself to take on a mindset that made me weak, stressed out and increased my depressive state.
I’d walked out of a job after a falling out with someone. The falling out also meant I’d fell out with my friendship group. On top of that two of my other closest friends had or were about to move away.
It was all too much for me and led me into a deep depressive straight that I struggled with for just under two years.
I’ll say it now and I’ll say it in other posts… depression itself isn’t about mindset. It’s not about snapping out of it or getting or grip or any other lame platitude. Depression is serious, if you think your suffering from depression, get some medical support. That was my first step, working on my brain chemicals, stabilising my moods. After that I became aware of my mindset and that it wasn’t working for me.
The Power Of Mindset
Mindset directs our path in life and determines our focus, our habits, our response to life.
Shitty mindset = shitty focus, shitty habits, shitty responses.
Powerful mindset = powerful focus, powerful habits, powerful responses.
I know which result I want and I’m sure I know which mindset you would prefer.
What Is A Fatass Mindset?
A fatass mindset is weak willed. It’s in victim mode and causes a person to be problem focused. It’s reactive and emotional. It constricts rather than empowering expansion. It’s causes inaction and overwhelm. It worries about what other people are thinking and is often passive aggressive towards situations and people.
What Is A Badass Mindset?
A badass mindset is a state of mind that inspires confident action. It doesn’t lay down to feelings. It presses forward and is solution focused. It stays on it’s path and doesn’t concern itself with other people’s opinions. It focuses on expansion and growth. It doesn’t play victim, villain or hero. and doesn’t play other people’s games. It stands up for itself.
Tips For a Badass Mindset
- Read books that positively affect how you think and feel about life
- Become aware of how you are reacting and responding to the world
- Cultivate stillness and silence in you life
- Act confidently
- Instead of thinking of the problem, begin to think about what the answer is
- Take action in life.
- Be more in
Creating a badass mindset is a journey, one we take every day. Some days will be exceptional and other days we may slip into our old ways. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s moving forward that counts. The journey forward in life isn’t a straight line, it’s more “squiggly”!
Your Best Days Are in Front of You,
When I was in deep depression my habits were poor. My 7 Great habits were: overthinking, too much drinking, eating “comfort” food, speaking negatively, over reacting to everything and watching a lot of tv. As I write this it’s no surprise I stayed depressed, because all those habits are not going to help a depressed person feel better!
It was only when I began to change what I was doing daily that something changed inside of me.
I began to feel different.
My habits created a different feeling. My feelings began to change my mind state.Continue…
I’m gonna talk from my own Fatass to Badass personal experience here. It’s a journey I’m still on, I’m not yet at the badass stage. I’m – like all of us – a work in progress. Can we ever truly arrive?
The journey may seem long. It may feel difficult. The thought of it could be overwhelming. For me I started at 19lbs over what my first target is.
Any journey starts with one step and then continues step by step. I like to think of one step as one day. Each night we go to bed we’ve completed one step. Simple.
The only step to “worry” about is the step you’re on.
Start With What?
Feeling badass starts with our physical health. When I started this journey my mental and emotional health were a mess too, but I choose to start with my physical health. The reason? Focusing on our physical health gets us out of our heads. It breaks the pattern that often we find our selves in. With depression it feels like your stuck in your head, full of unhelpful and destructive thoughts.Continue…
As men we want to feel like a badass. We watch movies and wish we were more like the heroes we see on the screen.
They look good, they say the right thing, the move in the right way and they don’t get flustered. The great ones have that air of calmness…
then we remember how we act
and it’s nothing like that.
And we feel like failures as men.
And not young men at that.
If you’re like me, you’ve looked back at your life and your like, “What have I done with my life?” “Why haven’t I got my life together yet?” “It’s too late now.” “If I only knew then what I know now!”
Is It All Downhill From Here?
Men in their forties struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts. The studies tell us that suicide is the number one killer for men in this age range.
We feel like the best of life is over and now we’re on the downhill slope to death.
Does it have to be?Continue…
In July/August of this year, I was open to a something new. The way I’d been living my life wasn’t working for me and I’d had enough. I was over emotional, unhappy and stressed. Having a few glasses of wine was the highlight of my day.
Not sure how, but I stumbled across Stoicism. I’ve had a copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius for a few years and had dipped into it, so it wasn’t completely alien. I began reading a little about Stoicism and what I read excited me.
It seemed to be the answer I was looking for.
For this guy who’s life had been an emotional rollercoaster in the last 18-20 months now had a blueprint for living differently. I discovered (or rediscovered) the one thing that we have control over….
Sometimes, the world throws shit at us. We have zero control over it.Continue…
Every journey starts with a beginning. Kinda obvious really!
I’ve been on a few inner journeys in the past. But this one started about two months ago.
Honestly, I’ve been unhappy for the best part of two years. I’ve been emotionally a wreck. My physical health has been average. My personal habits have been poor.
This journey began with the decision that I wanted to cut down my drinking and lose a bit of weight before my recent trip to Las Vegas.
I set myself a forty day challenge which I shared on Facebook everyday. I decided to eat more nutritiously (I HATE the term healthily), drink two litres of water every day, eat no sugary food, exercise every day, not to eat past 8pm and drink alcohol once a week.Continue…